Hello everyone! As I write this I am on the charter plane from work between Chuchill, MB and Val d’Or, QC. I just watched a movie (Brooklyn for those who are interested) and found myself lost during the final credits, deep in thought. Does this happen to anyone else? It feels like you are coming out of a dream as the credits roll and the theme music of the film begins….
Anyways, today’s post is a bit different than my usual ones about decorating, fashion, and cooking – it’s about life lived in fast fortnights, and a strange schedule that results in lots of time to think and then suddenly, none at all. It’s also much more substantial and deep than my usual topics. But I started this blog to write whatever I wanted, so here goes!
As you probably know I work two weeks at a time at a gold mine in Nunavut, then have (almost) two weeks off at home in Toronto with very few work obligations. I started this career almost four and a half years ago when I was fresh out of school. The job opportunity was and continues to be absolutely incredible and it brings me a huge sense of accomplishment and pride! Along with my husband and family, it has made me who I am today and has given me a sense of confidence and self-worth that I never expected to come from a career. Originally when I started my job I fully intended to do it for only two years max – to gain experience, pay off my student loans and debt, and then to go work in consulting somewhere in the Toronto area.
My first rotations back in 2012 seemed to go slowly as I got accustomed to working long, 12 hour days full of challenges and learning. My time off was full with building a real, non-student life with my eventual husband. I paid off my student loans and debts. We got engaged soon after on a cold, clear winter night in Quebec City. We saved money as much as we could so we could achieve our dreams: get a puppy, buy a house, have a joyous wedding, buy a new car! We also worked hard at our jobs, we saw our early 20s as the perfect time to throw ourselves into our careers. We got our corgi, Newton! We bought our house! We got married! I got a big promotion at work, so did Eric! We bought a new car! Quite suddenly time was moving in great leaps and bounds, from one milestone to the next. My two year deadline was past.
Time has continued to run so fast I can barely process it and suddenly I have had the (probably somewhat late) discovery that Eric and I are now 100% real-life adults with demanding jobs and a host of responsibilities. Gone are the days of frequent gatherings with school friends, as we all grow up and move away or just simply get busy. Now I am four and a half years out from school and my school days are blurry, tinged with a glow and a fondness that never seemed that way while I was living it. With the pace of life these days, these quiet moments on a plane or during the serene early mornings spent in bed with Eric or anytime where I can let go of everything are something I treasure.
Looking both at what is in front of me and behind me I am realizing this is what life is – mostly mundane and full of hard work but interspersed with moments.The moments we treasure the most are those of deep joy; joy from the thrilling moments or joy from the moments of stillness and peace. The moments we dread are there too; moments of sadness, fear, and frustration. But we always strive for the moments of joy. All the hard work, the toil, the struggle, just for those brief, golden, moments of pure joy!
At this point you are probably wondering where I am going with all this! Don’t worry, before you ask me I will assure you I am not switching jobs or pregnant or any of that!!! I am very content with life but have had the realization that it is time (probably past time) for me to enjoy this stage of life and to relax more during my time off – and to seek those moments of joy; particularly the ones caused by stillness and peace. I want to slow my pace a bit on the projects at home to spend more time relaxing, and to recharge more while I am at home so I can continue to hustle at work. Most of all, I want to spend more time soaking in the joy that comes with spending quality time with my husband, especially the joy of just simply being together, not rushing to get things done. The time spent rushing from one thrilling moment to the next has been great, but now I am craving some serenity and I want to take some time to fully savour this time in mine and Eric’s life.
I’ve never been great at relaxing; I’m always moving from one task to the next to reach my goals. But I think it is time to work on it – having hustle is a skill but so is being able to truly chill out! Maybe more time to think and relax will end up in more blog posts like this, where I can spill my thoughts onto a page and move ahead with a clear mind. I hope so, writing this has been very relaxing!
Now I’m off to find my moments of joy – I hope you are finding yours too, wherever life is taking you right now 🙂 More blog posts ahead, thanks for reading!